Saturday, 16 March 2013

50 Things a Girl Would Want but Not Ask For - Yay or Nay?

This morning  I was blasted yet again with something like this:

"50 things a girl would want but not ask for" and the lists goes on and on and on and on and on.  I stopped at Number 10 and thought to myself:



Then I started thinking that all this people (female) are ridiculous for wanting all this things (read below) (no I am kidding, don't read it, ain't nobody got time for that man):

1. Touch her waist.
2. Actually talk to her.
3. Share secrets with her.
…4. Give her your jacket.
5. Kiss her slowly.

Are you remembering this?
6. Hug her.
7. Hold her.
8. Laugh with her.
9. Invite her somewhere.
10. Hangout with her and your friends together.

KEEP READING ..
11. Smile with her.
12. Take pictures with her.
13. Pull her onto your lap.
14. When she says she loves you more, deny it. Fight back.
15. When her friends say “I love her more than you”, deny it. Fight back and hug her tight so she can’t get to her friends. It makes her feel loved.

Are you thinking of someone?
16. Always hug her and say I love you whenever you see her.
17. Kiss her unexpectedly.
18. Hug her from behind around the waist.
19. Tell her she’s beautiful.
20. Tell her the way you feel about her.

One last thing you need to do to show her you actually do mean it.
21. Open doors for her, walk her to her car - it makes her feel protected, plus it never hurts to act like a gentleman.
22. Tell her she’s your everything - only if you mean it.
23. If it seems like there is something wrong, ask her - if she denies something being wrong, it means SHE DOESN’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT - so just hug her.

24. Make her feel loved.
25. Kiss her in front of OTHER girls you know!

WE MIGHT DENY IT BUT WE ACTUALLY LIKE AND KINDA WANT YOU TO TICKLE US ..
26. Don’t lie to her.
27. DON’T cheat on her.
28. Take her ANYWHERE she wants.
29. Text message or call her in the morning and tell her have a good day at school, and how much you miss her.
30. Be there for her whenever she needs you, and even when she doesn’t need you, just be there so she’ll know that she can always count on you.

ARE YOU STILL READING THIS? YOU BETTER, BECAUSE IT’S IMPORTANT.
31. Hold her close when she’s cold so she can hold you too.
32. When you are alone hold her close and kiss her.
33. Kiss her on the cheek; (it will give her the hint that you want to kiss her).
34. While in the movies, put your arm around her and then she will automatically put her head on your shoulder, then lean in and tilt her chin up and kiss her lightly.

35. Don’t ever tell her to leave even jokingly or act like you’re mad. If she’s upset, comfort her.

REMEMBER ALL THESE THINGS WHEN YOU ARE WITH HER NEXT ..
36. When people diss her, stand up for her.
37. Look deep into her eyes and tell her you love her.
38. Lay down under the stars and put her head on your chest so she can listen to the steady beat of your heart, link your fingers together while you whisper to her as she rests her eyes and listens to you.
39. When walking next to each other grab her hand.
40. When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possible.

MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS SHES LOVED.
41. Call or text her at night to wish her sweet dreams.
42. Comfort her when she cries and wipe away her tears.
43. Take her for long walks at night.
44. Always remind her how much you love her.
45. Sit on top of her and tell her how much you love her and then bend down to her face and kiss her while you’re sitting on her.


ULTIMATE LOVE
46.  Buy her things that she hinted she likes.
47.  Be very nice and courteous to her side of her family.
48.  Ditch your game for her when she needs you.
49.  Never let her wait on you.
50.  Bring her to all the places that she wants to go.

(yes I am silently mocking fifty shades of grey, problem?)


I mean, what the heck is all of this?  We female are just a normal person like you and me.  We don't need a guide to our partner on 'how to' or 'what to' do or how a person should treat us.

And even more annoying, if you want something you should ask.  Why wait?  And if you are going to wait but it never happens, then you feel disappointed or sad.  That's  just asking for it, isn't it?  And I believe that I don't need to check on everything on that list ot show that he loves me.  I don't need him to do each number to let me know that he is in love with me and what, is this list exhaustive or repetitive?  How often does a guy have to do this in a month?  Or does he have to do this every other day?  Or is this one list to last for an entire life time? 

E.g.  Number 25:  Why not change that sentence to Public Display Affection.  Sounds just about the same.

And I've also thought that won't guys feel that their girlfriend is super needy or attention seeking or "What did I do?  Why is she upset?"  I thought all this are simply female's expectation of what a boyfriend or a husband should be but seriously, what about putting yourself in their shoes?  What if today, the net is filled with list of 100 THINGS OF WHAT A GUY WANTS BUT NEVER ASK, and when you (female) don't do what's on the list, your boyfriend throws a tantrum or accuse you of not loving him enough?  I will simply give you the eyebrow:






MS Paint strikes once more!  Mr Skeptical Eyebrow!





However, all this are simply my thoughts and assumptions and to prove one is right, one gotta ask the right person so I shamelessly interrupted 4 male friends early in the morning to ask their opinion on this.  My exact question was: 


 "What's your opinion when you see those list posted by girls like "50 things guys must do" Do you disagree or do you actually agree with it?"

"Those list are ridiculous"

"Who the hell expect guys to follow it?"

"This girls are hopeless"

....was what I expect to hear.  Instead, what I actually got was (which surprised me)

"Tbh I actually read them.  I don't think they apply to everybody (that'd be stereotyping) so I just keep in mind and try to apply whichever is relevant.  Just a fun read, that can be useful at times :P"

"For me i think its a fun read.  Errr...well...yeah i think i can agree to some of it.  If the list sounds too one sided i would not agree though"

"I'm agreeing with it, hahaha"

"From what I can see it's just like someone who's begging for affirmation.  The fact that it's 24/7 is kinda ugh Can't I just trust her to know I love her?  On that note this checklist seems like a rapist's/molestor's dream"

HAHAHA at the last one.  But it is surprising to find that 3 out of 4 of my male friends actually think it's okay to have such a list! o.o  Now that is REALLY surprising.

Then it struck me.  Perhaps if there is really a list of 50 Things that a Guy Wants but not Ask, perhaps I would actually take the time or at least have interest to read it, rather than reading 50 things that a Girl wants.  Perhaps it's because I am a female myself therefore I think such list is 'nah, urgh, boo' but put it the other way round, I would want to know what my male counterpart is thinking or do things that would please them, just as how le boyfriend or le husband wants to do things to please their female counterpart as well.

So, I asked these few guys another question:

"Do you think that there should be a list like that from male to female? Because most of the ones we see out there is from female to male"

"mm imo nope :P  if I have any particular preferences, I'd prefer my gf discover them through myself or observation, rather than me blatantly stating them on a list lol. "  <-- Well, that's my exact thought on the girl's list >.>  So we think the same when we are on the other side >D

"Err...idk.got mix feeling like one part seems like interesting read and one part is it would sound gay.  I guess it depends on how good it is delivered i guess"

"i cant wait to read that hahahha"

So this time, it is a mixed feeling thing for guys to read or think if it's necessary to have a list of guide for girls to let them know what their male counterpart likes without telling them.

All I can sum up is, in the end such list perhaps is not as useless as what I thought it would be, at least for their counterparts.  The sex where the list is aimed for perhaps might think its useless but their counterpart might think differently.  I guess it's always different when we see things from another perspective.  A pretty interesting perspective in this matter, I would say.

So anyways, I've further threaded on these few kind guy's courtesy and ask them to come up with few things that a guy would like a girl to do for them for your sake <3

1.  Cook a nice meal when they comes back from work.
2.  Gives him a big, tight hug when your guy is stressed from work.
3.  Letting your guy do his hobby.
4.  Not getting too friendly with his bros.
5.  Wearing his T-shirt or hoodie and game like bro.
6.  Girls who wears spectacles, not hipster spectacle but spectacle.


Yeah well, the list ain't too long because some of the things that they want from their girlfriend is actually the same as some of the list from What a girl wants so that one same list could be used vice versa towards your guy and I believe that they would appreciate it just as much as you do.

At the end of the day, I still gotta agree with this male friend where he mentioned:

"Well on top of my list would be having a girl to love and accept me for who I am.  I think that's the single most important thing to me, beyond that it's mostly petty preferences"

and that's what I think what my partner should be too.  Accepting of who I am, love who I am be it when I am being an ass, bitch, spoiled, nice, angel, devil or any other form that I can take and the same goes to him.  We all have our differences but it is learning and the ability to adapt to each others differences that makes the relationship lasts.  If you really can't accept each others differences, it would be better if the relationship just stop at being just friends as it will bring you nowhere.




First 3 months of every relationship >D




Following months / years of relationship until it ends >D

Courtesy of Kuroya-Ken


To the 4 male friends, thank you for your interesting feedbacks.  <3

How about the rest of you?  I would love to know what you think.  Let me know!