Friday, 2 January 2015

Welcoming 2015 and Saying My Last Goodbyes to 2014

There was so many thoughts and words on my mind before I started writing but when faced with a blank canvas, I guess the mind copied the idea of blank canvas being cool and most of my thoughts, jumbled or not seem to be gone so lets see if it flows back as I write on.

Well, first of all, time indeed does fly and it has been exactly half a year since I have last been on this platform.  My once before constant platform that I turn to to express my thoughts has been rocked and it is not because of a New Year or a New Year resolution that made me came back.  It's just coincidence that something happened today and it made me thought of this this platform that I once have and will always have.  It's like a long lost love whom I know I can always fall back on at any time, any place, waiting for me loyally as long as I intend to return.

The start of a new year and this is the time where everyone seems to be busy making resolutions, except me.  The last time I made a NY resolution was at the end of 2k12, over here and wow, that nostalgic sense that is kicking in as I revisit my older posts.  I am just smiling in my seat, recalling the times where I have fulfilled some of the resolutions and looking at those that has not been fulfilled yet and wondering if I should make another set of NY resolutions for this year.

The fun part of making a (long) list of NY resolutions is the satisfaction feelings that you get when you achieved it because you get to put a big, fat, tick on those that you have finished.  Gives you a sense of motivation, that's what resolutions are all about.  It's like a small gentle push that you need before jumping off the cliff on that bungee jump.  You know it's going to be alright but at times, you still need that gentle push to help you get going.

Ahh 2014, where to start.  Each year has been a roller coaster ride because it's impossible to go through 365 days doing the exact same thing and facing the exact same circumstances everyday but 2014, it has been quite a ride.  I've done a lot of things I never thought I was capable of doing, faced a lot of troubles that I never thought I would ever have to face and the year ended and started with a bang.

A short summary to you and to myself of what happened in 2014:

1.  Travelled to a few different countries for a long period of time and truly enjoying myself, one of which I travelled there alone, something that I have never done before but something that surprisingly, I enjoyed it a lot and am looking forward to the next travel be it with or without company;

2.  Discovering that words will always only be words and you can never measure the depth and value of words that one says:  Never hold a person's word too much because it's like water:  it can never take a solid form and it will morph according to the situation that fits it best, hence, action speaks louder and carries more truth than words;

3.  I have finally truly experienced Autumn, it's really beautiful :);

4.  Met up with a friend that I've met online from 7 years back who turns out to be exactly who he says he is and not some psychotic, scary man who would try to run away with my organs or so;

5.  Understanding the idea that when one door closes, two more opens up.  One friend goes, a few other approaches;

6.  Life is funny and things happens in a really weird and unsuspecting manner.  It's like cancer, you never know when and how it hits you, it just does and when it happens, you have to deal with it;

7.  Finding another me, it's interesting, especially for a narcissist like me who loves mirror, it's like talking to my own reflection but one who actually talks back, which brings me to the next thought <- well when I describes it like this it sounds a little creepy but I meant it in the best possible way!;

8.  I have found another me but I am still on a journey to find myself.  I am lost at sea and am trying to find that sanctuary, that island that would save me but the question and unknown answer it: Would I find it?

9.  I picked up drawing and cooking in 2014, it's really fun while I was at it;

10.  Met a celebrity at Apple Store and many more but that's where the list should end for now.

Reading back at the list, it does not sound like I had a good year but in all honesty, I think I did had a good year and am hoping this year would be just as interesting and challenging as the last and I am looking forward to a few things in 2015.

The reason I didn't make a list of resolutions for this year is because I already know what I want (for some) and I will try to achieve it by all means but on other areas, it's still hella grey and I am still looking for my way out.  

Another question that lingers:  Have I been a better person in 2014 than I was in 2013? Am I a wiser person today than I was last year? I don't know the answer and I can't answer it for sure myself because it would have been a very bias answer but instead of looking back that much, I  tell myself to  look forward more and strive to be a better person each coming day.  Work smarter, be wiser, walk faster, be tougher, love harder, do everything better then at least at the end of 2015, I am able to tell myself, I have tried and did my best everyday, living life to the fullest each day without regrets.

Looking forward to having you, 2015.  Lets take on this year together, hand in hand and not against one another! Good bye 2014, I will always remember you :3

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Happy 2k15, mishums (that's who you are, readers!), see you soon <3

0055 Hour

Thursday, 12 June 2014

Shoo Shoo Negativity!

Humans are interesting.  We are interesting.  We are all so full of life and so aware of what's happening around us everyday, so full of colours and energy and yet behind all that, there are times where we channel it towards the wrong direction.  Sometimes self inflicted, sometimes it's the circumstances around you.

Recently I have been doing some reading here and there and I came across one line which struck me deeply:

"Love fades"

And it got me thinking.  Maybe I was reading too much into that line but I've decided that whatever that little voice at the back of my mind is telling me, I agree with it.

I agree that no matter how good or bad those feelings are when something good or bad happens, it will eventually fade away with time.  Where good things happens, perhaps there's a picture of it to strengthen the memories and feeling of that particular good moment, say a birthday party, wedding, your first concert and things like that.  Whereas the bad things, doesn't matter if it's a hurt or angst that you were feeling, no matter how much hurt it caused you at that particular moment and how you were telling yourself you are not going to survive this? Well that's not true because that hurt, that angst, will fade away if only you will let it.

If you truly believe that you can recover completely from it, that's not true either.  It's like falling down and scraping your knees.  You will recover from the fall and your knees will heal but there will always be a scar there, reminding you of the fall.  It's the same in life.  Even after a while, when all those hurt and angst fades, there will be a small scar at the back of your mind or heart, reminding you that the event did indeed happen but you would've have already felt much better by now.  It might still leave a little anger or sadness in you but you could overlook the event now and in a sense, that self recovery is also self toughening and self conditioning to be a stronger, guarded person.  Slightly wiser, I would say, or I would hope to say.

I know this is cliché and overused but still I quote, "If it's not okay, it's not the end because at the end, it will always be okay".  True to a certain extent, or at least I wish for it to be true.

We can survive this.  We are already surviving this.  I can do this.

Until next time, my little berries.

Sunday, 11 May 2014

Eternal Love

It's either this size or the original size which is really big, so sorry about that but to look at the picture, just open it in a new tab or click to view it =D  You can also view my other works in 

This is the story of our life, the two women who loves each other eternally.

It begins with the day I was born, not via natural birth but via caesarian because I was just that cooperative right from the start.  It wasn't easy having me, whether it's during pregnancy or after birth.  My mom never had a good night sleep after I was born because I simply refuse to sleep at night (seems like I was born to be a nocturnal person after all xD) and I would just cry and scream my little lungs out at almost every hour during the night and being a person with a full time job , I was driving her insane but yet she tolerated and loved me so dearly.

Then comes the time when I could nearly walk and talk.  She was always there for me, for every single stage of my life.  She taught me my first baby steps and always telling me that it is okay to fall and get hurt because as I recover from it, I become a tougher and wiser person.  Sometimes she knows I am making a mistake but instead of preventing me from doing it or scolding me, she watch me make that mistake but she knows it is a lesson well learnt for me and those are what we call life lessons. 

Being the only child, it also means I am the jewel of her eyes but contrary to everyone else's belief, my mom does not spoil or spoon fed me.  In fact, she treats me like another young adult since a young age, trusting me to do chores and let me act independently, provided if I let her know exactly where I am going, what I am going to do or what time I will be home and from there, we bonded and cemented our trust into opening up to each other and not concealing things from one another.  From there, she taught me how to trust and respect another person.

She taught, showed, naaaaaaaaaaggggeeeeddd and still is teaching me everyday on how to be a better person, a more sincere person not only to others, but especially to myself.  She also taught me that at times it is okay to be at the disadvantage as long as we think we are not overly taken advantage off and we do not have to go all the way to prove that we are right all the time because given way is not an act of weakness, but it is an act of showing care and love for another's feeling and well-being.

She is a much tougher person than I am in a lot of sense, and definitely much wiser, because as they say a chip of the old block, she did inherit after my smarty, cunning, adorable Grandma after all xD  Though we are nowhere near Grandma's standard but hey, having parts of her flowing in us is pretty much good enough <3

Though of course, no matter how much love there is between the two of us, it is unavoidable that we too, have our differences and the way we fight it out is fun, we shout it all out but hey, better loudness than violence o/ 

Regardless of whatever that happens, at the end of the day, even without spoken words where we just lay down side by side in silence, just a simple nudge or cuddle is more than enough and we understands exactly how much we love and care each other.  

To the only woman whom I love eternally,

Happy Mother's Day, buibui <3


Baby <3

Monday, 5 May 2014

Celebrated Earth Hour for 12 Years Consecutively

You know what the title meant?

It meant I had a blackout last night.  For 12 hours.  So for the next 12 years I ain't going to participate in any Earth Hour Day just because I've already did a crash course of it, all in one night and its filled with sweat (given the crazy hot weather) and guess who decided to crash the party on this unfortunate night? Dem mosquitoes.

I was at my wits ends, tossing and turning at 4 am in the morning and I show up today looking like @.@ and my head's spinning like @.@

But, like what they always call me, Optimist Mish has strike again!  In the midst of darkness and warmth, I still manage to humour myself when I was preparing to shower before bed.  I took all my shower necessities and it was only halfway walking through the bathroom that I've taken my toothbrush, facial wash (among others) AND my spectacle casing.  I mistaken it for my toothpaste xD

The absence of electronics (and the Internet) has never been felt so badly until last night when I am cut off from my computer and also my phone because I have not charged it but fear not, because Optimist Mish striked twice last night!  Me and my friend decided in less than 5 minutes to run out in the middle of the night to catch a late night movie just so that we could escape the heat for 2 hours (and yay for yummy popcorns) before going back to reality and we ended up watching Brick Mansion.

In all honesty, the movie wasn't that great (story line wise) but seeing Paul Walker all over again and knowing that's his last film actually made it worth watching ;_;

There's just one thing to this blackout that made me want to cry a little.  As you all might (not) know, I started drawing digitally on my free time recently and last night I was midway through one piece when the blackout occur.  I was already spamming Ctrl + S when I was drawing out of habit but I am not sure when was the last time I save before the blackout so fingers crossed that almost everything is still there because I would rage quit drawing if the piece that I've drawn is gone =<

Hopefully electricity is back on and life shall be smooth sailing once more today! I will post some random update photos below so be sure to check them out and I will see you guys real soon! ;D

Some of my artwork xD Hope you like them \o/  

Mish says Hi & Bye!

Ta-ta!  See you guys next post!

Friday, 11 April 2014

Humans are like Fruits

Yep, you heard me right.

I was skinning off my apple and then it simply occur to me what other words that we could use to describe a human being other than the normal materialistic, kind, pretty, hot, bitchy, pretty on the outside, rotten on the inside or vice versa, we could simply say that they are like fruits!

You could buy a basket full of apples, bring it home and leave it in your fridge or anywhere you normally put your fruits and until the day you want to eat it, you walk over and start picking them up one by one, selecting from either the best looking one to eat or the worst looking one to eat (depending on each individual) or some would just simply pick one up without really minding.

Tonight, I randomly picked one up and when I was washing it, I thought to myself "Woots, I got a pretty looking apple this time" because the skin looks perfect, no dents, nice colouration and as I was skinning it, I noticed it was actually a bit rotten and swollen on the inside.  Well that's still fine but when I was eating it, it didn't taste as good as well =< Less juicy, not as sweet as the ones before which has more rotten looking, wrinkly skin and then it struck me, hey, does this not apply to us human as well?

Many times, not all the time but many a time, those who looks better or is richer or smarter, they look real great on the outside.  They have the looks, they have the brains, put simply, they've got the swag but on the inside, they are really nasty but many a time, those who does not look as good on the outside, they turn out to be real angels on the inside.  

The ideal person would be someone who is pretty on the outside, darn pretty on the inside as well but these does not come by regularly but I am fortunate enough to have come by a number of these type of people in my life.  To name one would be my mom.  She's really pretty on the out side, still look darn great for her age now and still have a kind soul.  That being said though, she's got the temper of a tigress buuuuuuuut I will talk about that another time (if I live to tell the tale xD).  Well, no one's that ideal, apparently =P

Fortunately for me though, I've come across those who has the means but yet they still retain the same humility and humbleness like the rest of us, if not more.  The one that I know actually offers a helping hand much more than any of us ever did because first, they can, second, they really are sincere in helping others.  I've actually learnt this from seeing someone close to me, he would never fail to help those in need like an old crippled aunt who always camps outside a certain mall with an old dog or just a little kid who would come and sell small little boxes of mochi.  If he could, he would pay them much more than the amount that it is worth so this shows that sometimes, a person can truly be beautiful on the outside and equally beautiful on the inside.

But of course, there are times when some of them who does not look as good has an equally repulsive enough manner to really just invite everyone else around them for some good free punches and that's really just like fruits.

When you pick one papaya up and just simply judging it by the skin, you might be dead set right about how it taste like just by looking at it or you could be so wrong and that's all for this time!

See you guys real soon! <3

Random Mish strikes again,
Love <3

Tuesday, 25 February 2014

Singing Is Not My Forte

But it is something that I like and enjoy doing.

I used to tell those around me that one of the things to do in my life is to record a song and put it on YouTube one fine day and like everything else, days passes in the blinks of eyes and there's still no song, no YouTube.

One night, I decided to pick up my 10 bucks microphone from years back and just started singing and recording in really bad quality and bad singing.  After that I decided to send it to my Godbrother for some laughs and what a turn of events.  Instead of laughing at me, he actually encouraged me to post it on YouTube.  What he said was if I never do it that night, I will never do it and I will never start.  He told me everyone needs a starting point and that is one truth that I cannot ignore so I did.

I posted my first ever singing video on YouTube on 7th of February this month and by today, I've posted my 3rd video.  It is far from perfection, very near to imperfection but hey, one achievement accomplished in life is one step nearer to chasing down all your dreams and doing them and that in itself is something special and intimate to yourself.  Its like feeding your soul with happiness and with life instead of just stressing and dumping it with work loads and tiredness.

I know that I still sound like I have not gone through puberty nor someone with great vocal but I am glad and thankful enough to have a voice to use and because of that, it overcome my fear and shyness of sharing it with all of you.  Quite on the contrary, I am happy and humbly would like to share my singing with the rest of you and hope that you would in turn chase down your dreams and do it irregardless of what type of dream it is.

So here's Stay The Night by Zedd ft Hayley Williams for you =3

On a side note, I would be away for few weeks for some long awaited vacation so don't forget to follow me on Instagram or my Facebook page so that you can catch up with me when I am away! I promise to post pictures of glorious food at least once daily when I am away! <3

See you guys soon!

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Stay The Night: Zedd ft Hayley WIlliams <3  I've decided to add the caption to my YouTube video! Not sure why didn't I thought of that before =p

Friday, 21 February 2014

Aftermath (Nightmare) of Valentines 2014

For some, Valentines Day is all about loving one another more on that special day, dressing and spending candle light dinner together and wrapped in each other's arms.

For some, its about spending that day alone and hating the world and the chocolates while refusing to step out of one's home just so they would not be caught for murdering lovely couples on the street.

For me, its making a fool out of myself, once again.

The story is, you obviously dress up and try to look appropriate for valentines so here I am, decent looking enough =3


Then when its time for food, of all the things to be served, there's this awesome dish known Squid Ink Spaghetti (It has a fancy French name but I am too lazy to look it up xD) and its known to taste really rich and good and hey, it looks great.

It looks like this <3

Looking good, check!
Awesome food, check!



This ain't true.

This ain't happening.

Yeah well... that valentines lunch escalated pretty quickly from there.

Jk xD It was valentines lunch over at my Godparent's place and we all ended up looking like that but still, one could not resist laughing at one another when we all look like we've just finished tarring the roads with our mouth.

Its just a heads up for all of you, do not eat anything squid ink related stuff whenever you are out in public or order anything with lots of black pepper with it when you are on a date with someone new because you will end up looking like the Wicked Witch from.. well, wherever you are seated at that moment =p

On another whole new random note, I never realized my hair has grown so long o_o I chopped it all off in December 2012 and whoa, 1 year and 2 months + multiple time of cutting, my hair is really pretty long and I did not realized it until today when I asked my godbrother to help me take a picture cause of the braid.

Long hair is long lol! (back view)

How it looks from the front <3

Well, time out!

See you guys next post <3

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