Humans are interesting. We are interesting. We are all so full of life and so aware of what's happening around us everyday, so full of colours and energy and yet behind all that, there are times where we channel it towards the wrong direction. Sometimes self inflicted, sometimes it's the circumstances around you.
Recently I have been doing some reading here and there and I came across one line which struck me deeply:
And it got me thinking. Maybe I was reading too much into that line but I've decided that whatever that little voice at the back of my mind is telling me, I agree with it.
I agree that no matter how good or bad those feelings are when something good or bad happens, it will eventually fade away with time. Where good things happens, perhaps there's a picture of it to strengthen the memories and feeling of that particular good moment, say a birthday party, wedding, your first concert and things like that. Whereas the bad things, doesn't matter if it's a hurt or angst that you were feeling, no matter how much hurt it caused you at that particular moment and how you were telling yourself you are not going to survive this? Well that's not true because that hurt, that angst, will fade away if only you will let it.
If you truly believe that you can recover completely from it, that's not true either. It's like falling down and scraping your knees. You will recover from the fall and your knees will heal but there will always be a scar there, reminding you of the fall. It's the same in life. Even after a while, when all those hurt and angst fades, there will be a small scar at the back of your mind or heart, reminding you that the event did indeed happen but you would've have already felt much better by now. It might still leave a little anger or sadness in you but you could overlook the event now and in a sense, that self recovery is also self toughening and self conditioning to be a stronger, guarded person. Slightly wiser, I would say, or I would hope to say.
I know this is cliché and overused but still I quote, "If it's not okay, it's not the end because at the end, it will always be okay". True to a certain extent, or at least I wish for it to be true.
We can survive this. We are already surviving this. I can do this.
Until next time, my little berries.